Monday, August 15, 2011
You could say that my faith was somewhat like that of a mustard a few months ago. Once I found out that I wouldn't be attending my dream college all Hell broke loose; I cried, screamed, and refused the thought of going to any other institution. I felt so lost and the constant "why Lord?" would be blurted in agony from my lips during random times of the day (yeah it was that serious to me). I started pushing God away but the more I did, the more lost I felt. I knew inside my heart that even during this difficult time what I needed most was to embrace him, let him in, or...just put my faith in him.
It is now August a mere 5 months from receiving that letter, and I am better than ever. Although I never put my full trust into God..(which I am trying to work on) I was constantly reminded though this period of time that he would never abandon me or give me a situation to difficult to handle. "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11). So I decided to enroll into another college and transfer within a year, and honestly this was the best decision I cold have made for myself. I still want to figure out if my heart is set out for that dream school, if I officially want to start uni internationally, or if I decide to change my major. I sincerely believe that this year will let me get more serious about my schoolwork, and help me grow mentally, physically, and most importantly spiritually. But In about two weeks I start college and I wouldn't even have gotten this far if it weren't for the Lord. I went from having no classes and stressing out if I would even get to graduate within a hectic time period, to getting everything I absolutely wanted. I'm not really saying that if you pray "God will cater to your every need", but more so that you must keep faith, for God really knows what is best for you :)